Friday 7 October 2011

Nations United . . . but strictly off-road

Ask anyone in Dili who the worst drivers are and you might be surprised by their response.  It's not the scooter riders or the motorcyclists who weave in and out of traffic.  It is not the Mikrolet drivers (these are mini buses that carry well-beyond the recommended number of passengers).  It is not even the taxi drivers.  No, my recent poll of five people gave a unanimous response.  The worst and most dangerous drivers in Dili are those in vehicles bearing what should be the comforting initials - UN.

Yes, sadly our Nations are apparently United on everything except roads, streets, or any stretch of land upon which a big-arse 4WD might choose to belt along.  And there in lies the problem.  They simply go too fast.

But what is fast?  Let me explain the first interesting thing about Dili traffic.  It moves slowly.

Apparently the unemployment rate is 50%.  So half the population has no where that they need to be at any particular point in time.  And time is somewhat arbitrary.  They operate on Island Time, so even if they have somewhere to go, they are in no hurry to get there.  Consequently, everyone (except for those in UN vehicles) drives relatively slowly.  We're talking 50-60ks an hour.  That seems fast by Dili standards.  It also means that UN vehicles speeding along at 70 or 80ks are quite noticeable.

The second thing about Dili traffic, or more correctly, Dili drivers, is that they are unanimously impatient.  If you are going too slowly, they will honk meaning, "I'm coming through, get out of the way."  They think nothing of driving on the wrong side of the road to overtake - even if there is on-coming traffic.  They overtake on the inside, the outside, any side that gives them access to the road ahead.

I'm learning that one of the basic road rules appears to be "Malae should give way on all sides."  Effectively this means you have to give way to traffic behind you.  Sounds absurd?  Undoubtedly.  But if you want to survive, it is probably best to sharpened your ESP skills so that you can know in advance that the taxi behind or beside you is about to cut in front of you so they can turn down a side street.  I have almost been mowed down by three taxis and one motorcyclist all cutting me off so they could turn a corner, not behind, but in front of me - at less than 40km/hour.

Where are you going in such a hurry?  I want to ask.  Come on people!  It's not like you work for the UN!

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